Crossover Wars
by rockangel160
Summary: Padme, Obi Wan, Anakin, and Mace Windu have lives outside the Star Wars galaxy. See some of the actor's other movies enter a galaxy far far away. AN Bold words mean significant to crossover movie.
1. Chapter 1

Anakin was sitting on the couch in Padme's apartment with his pen and paper; with a severe case of writer's block. He thought and thought, but couldn't get any more ideas. This was stupid, he was Anakin Skywalker, and everyone knew that he had done everything possible. Wait, did that mean they would believe something that **wasn't even true**? He suddenly got an idea, and wrote down his thoughts as fast as his Jedi reflexes would let him. Suddenly, Padme burst through the door in a dark cloak covering her head.

"Padme, what happened to you?" Anakin asked.

Padme just glared at him, and said in an angry tone,

"That new Empire has REALLY done it this time! Today I was arrested for rebelling against the Emperor! By now they've probably noticed I escaped and are looking through the whole town for me."

"So? I've been a prisoner a lot of times, it can't be that bad."

"Really? Look at what the Empire does to its prisoners!" She removed the hood from her cloak. Anakin dropped his pen and paper and gasped. She was **completely bald**! After a few minutes of staring Anakin finally wore his shock off and asked her,

"Wait, don't you think you'll be kind of easy to find in your own apartment?"

"I'm not staying long; I just came for the disguise I keep in the closet." As she walked towards the bedroom, she finally noticed Obi- Wan lying on the couch.

"What is HE doing here?!" Padme shouted. Obi-Wan raised his head and responded,

"OW! Could you not be so loud? Blazes…." Anakin sighed and explained to Padme.

"He's hung over. He's been really depressed since his favorite **courtesan** died. Sarah, or Silk, or whatever her name was…" Obi-Wan raised his head.

"**SATINE**! HER NAME WAS **SATINE**!"

"Oh, get over it man! You should've gotten the message that she was sick when she passed out _twice_ on the night you two met!" Obi-Wan just lied back down. Padme exclaimed,

"Oh, I don't have time for this! I need to find my wig!" She rushed into the closet throwing Anakin's junk all over the place. Anakin continued to write his newspaper article. He spoke as he wrote.

"And so with my advanced speeder piloting skills, I was able to find Zam Wesell single-handedly and quickly..." Obi-Wan quickly interrupted,

"That is so not true! No one is going to believe your **phony stories**!" Then the phone rang. Anakin went to go pick it up.

"Hello... Oh, hey Master Windu, how's your **flight** going... You're surrounded by what... Oh, come on now, you're a Jedi Master, and you're not telling me you can't handle a few **snakes**… I don't care if **enough is enough**, there's no need for that kind of profanity… Oh, take care of it yourself!" Anakin slammed the phone down.

"I found it!" rejoiced Padme from the room. She ran out with a **pink wig** on her head.

"Anakin…" Obi-Wan whispered, "I've seen that wig before. At the place where Satine worked, I noticed one stripper who looked like Padme wearing that wig. I asked her what her name was, but she claimed it was '**Jane Jones.**" Anakin's jaw dropped down way low. He tried to speak.

"Uhhh….Padme?"

"Can't talk now, the clone troopers should be arriving any minute!" Padme said. Obi-Wan commented,

"Oh calm down! Those clones are probably on **The Island** anyway!"


	2. Chapter 2 Living on the Streets

Padme, Anakin, and Obi-Wan were all in Padme's apartment where Padme was packing her belongings in a small bag before the clone troopers found her. Suddenly she stopped to think and said, "Why do I feel like this is a deja vu?

Anakin responded, "Because you said when you were 13, **some guy wanted to kill you because you're Jewish**."

Obi-Wan said in a confused voice, "You're Jewish?"

Padme just rolled her eyes and continued packing. Then the phone rang again, but this time Padme picked it up. "Hello?" she asked, and she reached towards Anakin with the phone. "It's for you, an **Edie Sedgwick**?"

Anakin looked stunned and spat out, "Hang up!" So Padme did. She glared at him and asked, "Who's this Edie Sedgwick, Anakin?"

Anakin just stuttered, "She- I mean he's an …uh… old enemy of mine."

Padme had other problems right now, so she pretended like she bought it. Anakin had a blow of relief when her back was turned.

Obi-Wan whispered, "We don't know an Edie Sedgwick." Anakin just shushed him. Since flying in Padme's royal ship would be too easily spotted, they had to go on foot. Where were they going? They didn't even know. They just walked until they could find a good place to stay. Since Obi-Wan was believed to be dead, and Jedi were now enemies of the republic, he was forced to go along. Besides, he was lonely without Satine. He bothered them the whole day with his **fairytales**.

"Obi-Wan! Enough of your **tall tales**! We know you did NOT catch a **big fish** with your ring!" said Anakin. The only safe place they could find was an alley in the outskirts of town. Padme was not happy about this.

All night she complained, "Oh, what has my life come to? I am a Senator of the Republic, and I live in an ALLEY?! What's next? I'll be wearing **trash bags**? Oh, and I guess I'll have to **have our baby in a WAL-MART**!" By midnight she calmed down and everyone went to sleep in their own box. Hopefully, someone could return things to back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3 Old and New Friends

It had been a week since the gang moved into the alley, and Padme would not stop complaining.

"I'm hungry! How long are we staying here? Can't we find somewhere else? How about some **secret annex** or something?" Anakin couldn't take her whining anymore.

"ALRIGHT! FINE! We'll keep going and find somewhere outside the city!" So the trio gathered their belongings and trekked outside of town. They walked, and walked until they found a little shack out in the country. They thought maybe they could get some shelter there, so they knocked on the door. An old man answered the door, but as they looked closer, they realized it was Mace Windu in disguise!

"Master Windu?!" they all shouted in excitement.

"SHHHH! Do you want me to get caught? What are you doing here anyway?" whispered Master Windu.

"We are fugitives like you, and we need a place to stay. Please, please, pretty please, let us stay with you?! Padme begged, battering her eyelashes. Mace Windu took a moment to think, and answered,

"All right, fine. You guys can stay here. I have a **special room hidden behind the book case." **Her face lit up like a star, and she gave him a big hug.

Obi-Wan replied, "This means a lot to us. We are very grateful."

Anakin said, "Yeah, thanks a bunch, Master Windu."

Master Windu looked at both of them and said, "Oh, and another thing, I don't go by Mace Windu anymore, to hide from the Empire, I go by **Lazarus** now." Anakin smirked and said,

"Lazarus? That's the best you could come up with?"

"Hey! If you wanna stay here, no making fun of my name." Mace Windu, or Lazarus now, replied. Anakin lowered his head. As they walked to the back of the house, they heard a rattling sound outside. When they looked through the window, they saw a young woman with a **chain** tied around her waist tied to the radiator. Padme was shocked to see this.

"Ma-I mean Lazarus, how could you do something that inhumane?! Why did you chain that poor girl onto the radiator?!" she shrieked.

"It's for her own good. She has …..issues with her um, self-control." Replied Lazarus.

"Still, that doesn't mean you have the right to treat her like a dog! You should get her some medication or something, not chain her to the house." Argued Padme. Lazarus hung his head and said,

"If I tried to get medication from the pharmacy, I might be ratted out. The Empire is connected to everything. Besides, if I let her go, she could go and tell on me also." Obi- Wan stood up and entered the conversation,

"I believe I have an alternate plan from chaining her," he pulled out a blinking anklet, "This is a house arrest band. We can strap this to her ankle and when she tries to leave the house it'll sound an alarm." Lazarus and Padme looked at each other and shrugged, that would have to do. Lazarus went outside unhooked the girl and brought her in. The girl stared at everyone and asked in an annoyed tone,

"Who the heck are these guys?"

"Rae," Lazarus began to explain, "These are some old friends of mine, and they convinced me to take the chain off" She smiled and said, "OH THANK GOD! Whoever you guys are, you rock!" Obi-Wan over and put the band on her ankle, and said,

"Instead you'll only have to wear this house arrest band and you'll still have to stay here." Rae shrugged and replied,

"I can live with that, besides, it's not like I have anywhere else to go." So the whole group greeted their new roommate and returned to talk about other things they had done in their life.

TO BE CONTINUED…..


	4. Chapter 4 Story Time

Another week passed, and the party of five remained in hiding in Lazarus's house. The group was just starting to get to know Rae, the girl Lazarus was taking care of. Often times when Padme would get bored, she'd talk to Rae, and find out they have certain things in common. Here's how one conversation went:

"Hey Rae, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, shoot."

"What exactly…made you a nymphomaniac?"

"(sigh) Well, my boyfriend left for the war, and I'm always afraid he won't come back. And every time I think of him, I miss his special touch. So I try to forget about it by partying, and possibly find someone to satisfy me for the time. And I just go crazy."

"I can relate to that..."

"You? Padme Amidala, the senator from Naboo?

"Yup, I don't always play by the rules. In fact, I've probably made my husband break one of the biggest rules of all. You see, Jedi aren't allowed to marry, so we have to keep ours a secret. He always has to leave for the longest amount of time. I miss him very much during those times. One night when he was away, I decided to do something a little crazy. I was tired of lying around worrying, so… I put on this wig, and took a job as a **stripper."**

"No way! How did keep that a secret?"

"Makeup can really help for disguises. I borrowed this wig form my sister,** Margot**. It's funny, she was always the perfect one, but she always kept a secret box of wigs, I have no idea why. So anyway, I kept that job for a few months, but I finally quit when I got pregnant."

"It's amazing how you're able to hide this from the paparazzi!"

"Well, whenever someone asked my name, I'd just tell them **Jane Jones. **You're the first person I've told."

"You haven't even told your husband?"

"Absolutely not! He'd kill me! He has a pretty hot temper sometimes."

"Well, that's a pretty cool story."

"Thanks, Rae."

With that being said, Padme left to get something to eat, she was starving. She passed by Anakin on the way, and he asked her, "Hey, what were you doing?"

Padme just smiled and replied, "Nothing, just telling her a story."

"What story?" he asked.

"Just a regular story." She said nonchalantly. She walked away before he could ask anymore questions.

A/N: I know this chapter was short and focused on one crossover, but the next chapter will be longer and bring someone else back.


	5. Chapter 5 The Plan

Things were calm in the house of Lazarus. Everyone felt that they had a safe place to stay. Of course, Rae wasn't an outlaw, but she had nowhere else to go. One day at the breakfast table Lazarus made a good point. He said

"If you guys are running from the law, you'll all need new names. You can't walk around as Padme, Anakin, and Obi- Wan anymore."

Everyone looked at each other, realizing he was right. Everyone thought of possible new names. Padme was the first to think of one.

I think I'll go by **Evey Hammond.** That's just the first thing to pop into my mind."

Anakin was next to figure out a new name.

"My new name will be **Stephen Glass."**

Obi-Wan (thinking of himself as an exceptionally good actor) had many names to choose from. He narrowed it down to the good ones, and finally picked one.

"Oh, I got it! From now on, I shall be known as **Rodney Copperbottom**!

Everyone turned around in surprise. In unison, they all said,

"Rodney Copperbottom?!" Lazarus added, "What kind of name is that?! Man, that's worse than Lazarus!"

Obi-Wan groaned as everyone's disgust. "Fine, then, just call me **Christian."**

Everyone was pleased with that. At night, everyone thought about the man who was putting them into this situation. Emperor Palpatine, the center of all evil. HE ordered the clone troopers to wipe out all the Jedi. HE almost turned Anakin against everyone he cared about. HE ordered Padme's head shaved! Midnight came, everyone was supposedly asleep. Then, Lazarus woke everyone up, told them to get dressed, and told them his plan.

"We should all know that hiding isn't going to solve anything. If we sit here and do nothing, we're just letting the Empire win. We need to take action."

Obi- Wan/Christian spoke up, "How are we going to do that? We have no weapons, and the Emperor is so powerful, not even Master Yoda could defeat him."

Padme's/Evey's head perked up, "Hey, what happened to Yoda anyway?"

Lazarus answered, "Last time I heard from him, he ran away to run **puppet shows** for small kids. Anyway, Yoda couldn't face him alone, but if we all work together, we might have a chance."

"That still doesn't solve the fact that we have no weapons." Said Stephen/Anakin.

"Au Contraire," replied Lazarus. He opened up the closet and a load of weapons fell out. Everyone stared in astonishment. Finally Evey/Padme broke the silence.

"Where did you get all those?" She said.

Lazarus shrugged, "Found them. You wouldn't believe how many I found just lying around the Jedi Temple." He tossed Christian/Obi-Wan and Stephen/Anakin each a lightsaber, and gave Evey/Padme and Rae each a blaster. Stephen watched as Evey admired her blaster.

He asked her, "Hey Pa-I mean Evey, how did you learn to work a blaster anyway?"

Evey thought back, "A **lonely assassin** taught me when I was 12." Rae stared at her own blaster with a look of confusion.

"Hey Evey, do you mind showing me how to work this thing?" asked Rae. Evey took her outside to show her a few pointers. Inside, the men talked about the plan to get into the Emperor's office. Obi-Wan pointed out, "How are we supposed to get there? It's pretty far, and we don't have our fighters.

"We're just gonna have to travel how normal people do, by spaceplane," replied Lazarus, "We can get tickets using our fake names. Then, at the crack of dawn, we'll go to the Emperor's office in the Imperial Building, and strike." All the guys nodded in agreement.

"Oh, and one more thing guys, you two might have different names but you still look the same. We have to fix that."

Lazarus pointed out. Stephen and Christian each felt their own faces wondering what they were going to have to do to them. Lazarus said,

"I have some black hair dye in the back you can use."

"Pfft. What do you need hair dye for?"

"SHUT UP."

Christian called dibs on the first use. He went into the restroom and spent an hour in there. After a while, he screamed, "AARRG! IT BURNS!"

Stephen yelled back, "You're supposed to put Vaseline on your scalp first, idiot!"

Christian spent another hour dyeing his hair the correct way. While he was doing that, Evey and Rae came in after a while of targeting practice. Stephen filled them in on the plan. Evey already had a disguise, and Rae wasn't even in trouble with the Empire, so they weren't required to color their hair. After Christian was done, he walked out with **jet black hair, and no facial hair**, he had shaved it off in the bathroom. It was really hard to recognize him. Then, it was Stephen's turn. He walked into the restroom, and then walked right back out. He shouted,

"YOU NERFHERDER! You used all the hair dye!"

"Sorry."

"Now what am I supposed to do?!" Lazarus pulled out a small case and scissors from a drawer. He spoke in a scary tone,

"Well, now there's only one thing to do."

He approached Stephen menacingly, sending him the message. Once Stephen got the message, he tried to back away. He was horrified, and he couldn't escape.

"No. No! NOOOOO! Snip snip."

Stephen felt his new haircut in shock. It was a lot shorter than it used to be. Plus, he had to wear some **dorky glasses**.

"AWWW! I look like a nerd!" he complained.

"Well at least it didn't burn!" snapped Christian. Now, there was no way anyone could be recognized as their former selves. The next day, everyone booked tickets to the city where the capitol building was located. The attendant asked,

"Names please?"

"Evey"

"Christian"

"Lazarus"

"Stephen"

"Rae"

The attendant replied, "Good. Welcome aboard, and have a nice trip!"

On the plane, the trip was quite pleasant. Until, they turned on the radio.

"HEY SISTAS, SOUL SISTAS, BETTA GIT DAT DOH SISTAS!"Sang Christian.

"Christian! Shut up!" yelled the whole gang. For a while he did. Then he spoke one last time on that plane saying,

"I hope this goes better than the last time I flew on a plane."

Everyone gave each other worried looks.

A/N: So it might have been confusing using fake names, but they'll get back to their real names soon.


	6. Chapter 6 The End

Stephen, Lazarus, Evey, and Rae all looked at Christian trying to figure out what he meant. Once Christian saw their curious eyes, he decided to fill them in.

"Last time I got on a plane, it was **hit** and…" BOOM! Suddenly the whole plane shook as it was hit. The flying vehicle glided at high speed towards the ground with all the passengers screaming. The whole gang clung onto each other for their very lives. Then everything went blank.

Hours later, Stephen woke up and looked for everyone. Through all the debris he found Evey, Lazarus and Rae. They all formed a search party to find Christian. They finally found him barely conscious next to the wing of the plane. Stephen shook him gently asking,

"Christian, are you all right?"

"Ughhh...yeah I think so."

"Good." Stephen grabbed a rock nearby and threw it at Christian's head.

"OOWWW!"

"You moron! You jinxed us!" After everyone was up and ready, they realized they could not stay there much longer. They could not bring any attention to themselves, so no one could no they were at thee crash site. As the ambulance came, they ran away from the crash and hid in a nearby coffee shop. They took their seats and whispered so no one could hear them.

"Well now what?" asked Evey.

"Look, the capitol building isn't too far from here, so first we have to wash ourselves off, and then we get in." said Lazarus. So everyone washed them selves off in the bathroom sink in the coffee shop, and headed towards the capitol building. Getting past the security was too easy. Only the weak-minded would work for the Emperor.

They all walked in, with their weapons steady, to the Emperor's office. His desk was turned the other way, so they couldn't see his face.

"This is the end for you, Emperor. This time you really _have_ lost," Snapped Lazarus as he ignited his lightsaber. No response. This time Stephen tried to talk to him.

"You almost took everything that was important to me. Now you will pay!" There was still no response. Everyone was just confused now.

"Um, Emperor? We're like gonna try and kill you now, if you catch my drift. It's, like, me, Obi-Wan. That's Mace Windu, Anakin, and Padme. Oh, and Rae's new," said the puzzled Obi-Wan. Anakin went over to see what was wrong with him. He turned the Emperor's chair around

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!"

There lied the Emperor's body, limp and lifeless.

"Aw, man! Somebody beat us to it!" Mace Windu complained. Everyone else was still paralyzed with shock. Rae, being to first to snap back into it, went to take a closer look at his neck. There were two bite marks, and they looked like they went in pretty deep.

Rae explained her observations. "It looks like he was bitten. I never thought I'd say this, but I think it was…"

"A what," said a voice in the shadows, "A **vampire**?"

Slowly a dark figure walked out of the shadows. He removed his cloak, and revealed himself to be… Count Dooku! Everyone gasped, and Anakin nearly fainted. He thought he had killed Count Dooku.

"But... you're supposed to be dead! I cut your head off!" Anakin shouted

"Fools! There is only one way, and one way alone to kill a vampire!" Count Dooku responded. None of the group knew what it was. Padme was the smart one, so she would think about it while Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, and Anakin fought Count Dooku to buy time. Rae didn't know what to do either, so she decided to think about it as well.

Hours passed by, and all the men were getting tired of fighting. Anakin said to Padme as he fought,

"Anything yet?!"

"No."

"C'MON!"

"I'm thinking! We don't exactly have to deal with vampires everyday in the Senate."

Rae, however, was on the brink of something. She thought back to her childhood, and her **Uncle Fester**. Sure, he was weird, but he knew everything about monsters. He said vampires could only be killed by… a silver bullet! But where was she going to find silver so fast. Suddenly, she looked down at her ankle. The house arrest band! Lazarus had deactivated it when they left the house. It had a silver button on it! She yanked out the metal piece and gave it to Padme. She instructed her,

"Here. Put this in your blaster and shoot it at his heart."

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

Padme sneaked across the dark lighted office behind Count Dooku's back. She waited for a moment to see the pinpoint on where his heart was. The, she pulled the trigger. The boys all put down their lightsabers as Count Dooku fell to the ground, dead for sure.

So the threat was gone, and everyone lived happily ever after,

THE END


End file.
